Rabbi Berner Finally Reveals His True Religious Agenda

Ever since I have developed my cult following
 Everybody's wanting to know
 What I'm gonna do with my cult following
 Where'm I gonna take it to go?
 Well
 I've been waiting and waiting with a kind of spiritual constipation
 I couldn't let it go somehow
 But now the zeitgeist has shifted, objections have been lifted
 I'm feeling that the time is
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 Now
 Are you ready? (Yes, we're ready!)
 To hear all about it
 What God and I want you to know
 Are you ready? (Yes, we're ready!)
 I really kind of doubt it
 But I'm gonna have to let it go
 Here we go
 The Bible is a mirror and God is on the other side
 So everything it tells you is the opposite
 Of what He really wants you to decide
 It's a test, a test, a spiritual test
 And the truth is only for the brave
 Let's go
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 Now you've finally got a proper explanation
 For all the crazy shit inside
 From Genocide to Revelations
 The logic can't be denied
 Pillars of Fire! Pillars of salt
 The pillars on which rest my case
 Did you really think a perfect God wants you to burn a goat?
 Or nail the Messiah in place?
 Are you ready? (Yes, we're ready!)
 To do what it will take
 What God and I want you to do
 Are you ready? (Yes, we're ready!)
 Every rule you've got to break
 To finally make us proud of you?
 
 The Bible is a mirror and God is on the other side
 So everything it tells you is the opposite
 Of what He really wants you to decide
 It's a test, a test, a spiritual test
 Like a fossil, it's a test of faith
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 With all those rules and laws, it's enough to make you dizzy
 All the shit that you'll have to do
 And in your modern lives, I know you're very busy
 So I've got a small proposal for you
 For a modest contribution I'll save you the hassle
 Of pleasing God all on your own
 But I'll need liquor, women, shellfish and probably a castle
 'Cause I don't wanna do it wrong
 I'm ready, I'm ready!
 To get right down to working
 Working just as hard as can be
 I'm ready
 I know you were tired of searching
 So you just make that cheque out to me
 The Bible is a mirror and God is on the other side
 So everything it tells you is the opposite
 Of what He really wants you to decide
 It's a test, a test, a spiritual test
 And if you pass it
 It's gonna save you from the grave!