Michael in the Bathroom

I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall
 I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at all
 I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone
 But I'd rather fake pee than stand
 Awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phone
 Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair
 Now through no fault of mine, there's no other half there
 Now I'm just Michael in the
 Bathroom, Michael in the bathroom, at a party
 Forget how long it's been
 I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party
 No you can't come in!
 I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave
 And picking at grout as I softly grieve
 I'm just Michael who you don't know,
 Michael flyin' solo, Michael in the bathroom by himself
 Oh, by himself
 I am hiding, but he's out there, just ignoring all our history
 Memories get erased,
 And I'll get replaced, with a newer, cooler version of me
 And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney
 Through the door. I wanna dance with somebody!
 And my feelings sink, 'cause it makes me think:
 Now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore!
 Now it's just Michael in the
 Bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party
 I half regret the beers
 Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party
 As I choke back the tears
 I'll wait as long as I need, until my face is dry
 Or I'll just blame it on weed, or something in my eye!
 I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flyin' solo
 Michael in the bathroom by himself!
 Knock, knock, knock, knock
 They're gonna start to shout soon
 Knock, knock, knock, knock
 Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon
 Knock, knock, knock, knock
 It sucks you left me here alone
 Knock, knock, knock, knock
 Here in this teenage battle zone
 Clang, clang, clang, clang
 I feel the pressure blowing up
 Bang, bang, bang, bang
 My big mistake was showing up
 Splash, splash, splash, splash
 I throw some water in my face
 And I am in a better place
 I go to open up the door
 But I can't hear knocking
 Anymore
 And I can't help but yearn
 For a different time
 And then I look in the mirror
 And the present is clearer
 And there's no denying, I'm just
 At a party
 Is there a sadder sight than...
 Michael in the bathroom at a party
 This is a heinous night
 I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn
 Or wish I offed myself instead
 Wish I was never born!
 I'm just Michael who's a loner
 So he must be a stoner
 Rides a PT Cruiser
 God he's such a loser
 Michael flyin' solo
 Who you think that you know
 Michael in the bathroom by himself
 Oh, by himself
 Oh, by himself
 All you know about me is my name
 Awesome party
 I'm so glad I came