Vicious Cycle

The water fills my lungs, as I gasp out for air
 A delusion of my former self, a thought I can't bare
 I shift my focus to avoid discontent
 But I'm drowning in abysmal endless torment
 I swear it happens every day, I'll try to feel better
 But every day I'm falling further and further, I can't sleep
 I've got so many problems
 I'm not stopping 'til I reach the bottom
 I can't pull myself forward
 It's a fucking disorder
 I'm just so tired, I'm uninspired
 It's like a guilt trip, sad song, desperate to feel alive
 I'm losing sleep just to lose my mentality
 One more second 'til the brink of insanity
 I can't pick myself back up
 I have waited my entire life for this
 Self deception radiates within me
 Barricade all my thoughts in these walls
 I can't find my way back out
 I can finally see that I'm living a dead memory
 And I can finally say I'm better off hanging
 Up from above
 Suspended
 Bound by chains
 I can't pull myself forward
 It's a fucking disorder
 A fucking disorder