My Phone

I didn't think it was for real
 Or it could be such a big deal
 That this hunk of silicon could save my life
 But now i've seen what it can do
 And after all that we've been through
 I had to write a song all about why
 It can do anything
 It can even help me sing
 And yes it helped me find my soulmate
 It can be a lightsaber
 Help me find out if my neighbour is a registered sex offender in my state.
 Been bitten by a vampire bat?
 Well there's an app for that
 Been deployed into heavy combat?
 Well there's an app for that
 In a fight with Yassar AraFat
 There's an app for that
 Have you heard about my phone
 My phone's so sweet
 My phone owns your phone, it makes my life complete
 One thing you've gotta understand
 My phone it holds my hand
 And I don't think you can comprehend how
 I don't even need a girlfriend now
 Cause my phone does everything
 If I put it in my pants
 Suddenly I can dance
 And the ladies flock to me on the dancefloor
 And the one that I take home invariably loves my phone
 Too bad there's not an app for birth control
 Are you bored at the laundromat?
 Well there's an app for that
 Been feeling like you're getting fat?
 There's an app for that
 Forgetting when to feed your cat
 There's an app for that
 Have you heard about my phone
 My phone's so sweet
 My phone owns your phone, it makes my life complete
 One thing you've gotta understand
 My phone it holds my hand
 And I don't think you can comprehend how
 I don't even need a girlfriend now
 'Cause my phone does everything
 My finance application says I deserve a vacation
 It fixed the economy in Greece
 Steevie Jobs knows what he's doin
 In my opinion he's a shoein for this years nobel prize for peace
 You learning how to knit a hat?
 Well there's an app for that
 Your wife just gave birth to a cat?
 There's probably an app for that
 You wanna call your mom and chat?
 Well actually service is kinda spotty out here so I'll, I'll just call here when I get into town.
 Have you heard about my phone
 My phone's so sweet
 My phone owns your phone it makes my life complete
 One thing you've gotta understand
 My phone it holds my hand
 and I don't think you can comprehend how
 I don't even need a girlfriend now
 Cause my phone does everything
 And yes I mean everything