I Heard Jesus Was

I heard Jesus was a cool lad
 A peace and love kind of guy, it's said
 He smelled of BO and of weed
 A smell that could have raised the dead
 He had twelve merry drinking pals
 Who loved a late boozy repast
 But every morning, quite hung over
 They swore this supper would be their last
 My God, Old man!
 Oh why have you forsaken me?
 We hoped to party until dawn
 But we're out of beer and it's only three!
 He and his buddies crashed a wedding
 Where all they served was water warm and stale
 Jesus winked at the bride and the groom
 And turned the water into ale
 My God, Old man!
 Am I really your true son?
 Cause you seem to me a bit stern
 And I mighty like to have some fun...
 Sanitas Bona!
 Sanitas Bona!
 His hot girlfriend was an ex-whore
 Who warmed the bed of many men in need
 She never caught anything itchy at her job
 And that was a miracle indeed
 My God, Old man!
 I read the jobs you had for me
 And I could not help wondering
 Can I really walk upon the sea?
 Because I'd like to spread
 The good news of brew the world around
 And it looks to me a whole lot cheaper
 Than renting a boat for a bag of pounds