I Kidnapped Willie Nelson

Well i'd used up all my favors
 Pestered all my friends
 Had no one left to torture with my shitty songs again
 So I Kidnapped Willie Nelson
 At an Austin honky tonk
 Laid him out with an Epiphone and I stuffed him in my trunk
 Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
 So he'd listen to my song
 Didn't mean to hurt him but he should have sang along
 Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
 Guess he's got bad luck
 Never shoulda told me that my masterpiece did suck
 We'll we stayed up all night drinking
 I played the song on loop
 Poked him with a cattle prod but he wouldn't change his tune
 So I raised my hand to strike a blow
 That'd really make him ring
 When all to my astonishment the man began to sing
 Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
 And he listened to my song
 He must have really liked it cuz he danced and sang along
 Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
 What a thing to steal
 Says If i release him he will give me a record deal
 Who knew an old mans femur
 Would be my lucky break
 I'll say he heard my song one day and things just up and changed
 I'll buy myself a pardon
 And he'll sign an NDA
 So i get paid
 Well the sun began to rear its head
 And we'd smoked up all the tree
 So I asked him for some last advice before I set him free
 He said son your tune it ain't half bad
 But the words are kinda dumb
 Quit tryna be a cowboy you ain't foolin anyone
 Yea I strangled Willie Nelson
 Cuz he criticized my song
 Shame he went and blew it man I thought we'd get along
 Yea I strangled Willie Nelson
 Good things never last
 Wrapped him up and tossed him down the well with Johnny Cash