The Ballad of Hamantha

Life's extension lottery
 Kind to some, but not to thee
 Born with a rare and sad disease
 She grew (a ham) where her head should be
 Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie
 Meaty face and a lovely eye
 Dream was to be a famous star
 But at the rate she was goin', she wasn't going fa-a-ar
 Hamantha, Hamantha
 You were impossible to ignore
 Hamantha, Hamantha
 So greedy we wanted more
 ♪
 (Oh no!)
 Her father was a simple man (duh!)
 He wanted to help, "in any way that I can!"
 Home from school, he watched his daughter cry
 In the yard, he cursed God and fired at the sky
 Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie
 Meaty face and a lovely eye
 Her dreams in the sky, her father felt her pain
 And as he shot at the clouds, it began to rain
 Hamantha, Hamantha
 You were impossible to ignore
 Hamantha, Hamantha
 So greedy we wanted more
 Got a call from the doctor
 He had some amazing news for her
 He just developed a cure
 If she hurried over now, he'd try it out on her
 Burst out the door, she was beaming
 Among the raindrops, her happy tears were streaming
 Finally freed from her pain
 But something else fell with the rain
 A stray bullet shot by her father
 Aimlessly nested inside her
 She fell to the the sidewalk, now empty
 Of the life which once christened her body
 ♪
 "Nurse, s-she's... she's gone"
 "O-oh... oh dear"
 "I left a lunch on the table in the operating room for the bereaved, a cooked ham, as is customary for these... dark situations"
 "U-uh, Doctor, what... which one is the... which... which one is the ham that-?"
 "I-I must... I must go... I must... I must go, I'm on break"
 "Oh dear"
 Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie
 Meaty face and a lovely eye
 At her time of death
 The Doc' said "time to eat!"
 So we took a bite out of her face meat
 Hamantha, Hamantha
 You were impossible to ignore (la-la-oh...)
 Hamantha, Hamantha
 So greedy, we wanted more
 Soaring infinitely through space
 Hamantha's soul was graced
 With a glance of our humble planet
 At which she was amazed
 The news of her untimely death
 Had spread out near and far
 And through her soul, the truth was whole
 The dream had crossed the bar
 Hamantha had become a star
 Hamantha was finally a star
 Hamantha had become a star
 Hamantha was finally a star