Dear Santa

Dear santa, the thing is this year has been lame
 it always seemed, i always dreamed by now i'd have someone else's last name
 way past grown, sleeping in a shrunken bed
 all alone, unless you count the squatters tearing up my head
 tried so hard to be good all year long
 and we are all inherently bad, anne frank had it wrong
 santa, oh santa, where were you last night?
 i asked for nothing, i even left some cookies right
 by the open window, i don't have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see
 imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me
 dear santa, could you use a 6 foot 1 elf?
 i'm sick of taking stock from this widow's walk, up here searching for myself
 is there any way i could hop aboard your sleigh?
 take a holiday, leave the work to me, your red-nosed blue jay
 when people say the joy you bring's a children's thing, does it sting?
 'cuz i will ring silver bells & sing you're as real as martin luther king
 santa, oh santa, where were you last night?
 i asked for nothing, i even left some cookies right
 by the open window, i don't have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see
 imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me
 chocolate chip. oatmeal raisin. gingerbread, too.
 a full selection from my convection in little shapes of you
 free flowing ho-ho-ing's a lot for one man's jaws
 if you're feelin' brittle, i can bake a little mrs. for your claws/claus
 santa, oh santa, where were you last night?
 i asked for nothing, i even left some cookies right
 by the open window, i don't have a chimney, just a heart of gold, you see
 imagine my surprise that not even santa wants cookies from me