Jilted John - Single Version

I've been going out with a girl
 Her name is Julie
 But last night she said to me when we were watching telly
 (This is what she said)
 She said, "Listen John, I love you, but there's this bloke I fancy
 I don't want to two-time you so it's the end for you and me"
 "Who's this bloke" I asked her
 "Gordon", she replied
 "Not that puff", I said dismayed
 "Yes, but he's no puff" she cried
 ("He's more of a man than you'll ever be")
 (Here we go, 2, 3, 4!)
 ♪
 I was so upset that I cried
 All the way to the chip shop
 And when I came out, there was Gordon standing at the bus stop
 (And guess who was with him? Yeah Julie, and they were both laughing at me)
 Oh, she is cruel and heartless
 Two packed me for Gordon
 Just 'cause he's better looking than me
 Just 'cause he's cool and trendy
 But I know he's a moron
 Gordon is a moron
 Gordon is a moron
 Gordon is a moron!
 (Here we go 2, 3, 4!)
 Oh, she's a slag
 And he's a creep
 She's a tart
 He's very cheap
 She is a slut
 He thinks he's tough
 She is a bitch
 He is a puff
 Yeah, yeah
 It's not fair
 Yeah, yeah
 It's not fair
 (I'm so upset)
 I'm so upset
 I'm so upset
 Yeah, yeah
 (I ought to smash his face in)
 (Yeah, but he's bigger than me isn't he?)
 (I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him, he'd flatten him)
 (Yeah, but Barry's a mate of Gordon's isn't he?)
 (Oh well, I don't care)
 I don't care
 I don't care
 'Cause she's a slag and he's a creep
 She's a tart, he's very cheap
 She is a slut, he thinks he's tough