Donuts

The Police, they love donuts right?
 " Hey cop why don't cha get a donut
 cops love donuts!."
 Which is a interesting stereotype
 cause you know who else likes donuts? Absolutely everyone, Of course cops love donuts
 cause they know the difference between right and wrong!
 and not liking donuts is wrong!
 Have you ever met someone who doesn't like a donut, you wanna know why
 because they're in jail
 
 When you in a donut shop and you see a police officer don't you feel like something
 special happened
 *Gasp* an angel just got it's wings, it's special
 i had a donut before i came onstage
 I was with a friend last week i was like
 "you want to get a donut? He's like "Im not hungry."
 I'm like " What does that have to do with it
 As if there's good reason to eat a donut
 " Well, Doctor said i need more powder sugar in my diet"
 Donuts are bad for you and according to my health nut wife
 their not appropriate for a trail mix
 I'm just on a different trail right
 mine leads to the emergency room
 That joke will be even funnier when i die from cardiac arrest
 That's why i didn't laugh
 Donuts are all about taste
 in los Angeles there is a place called Yum Yum Donuts
 Like what do you need?
 the IQ of one to find that appealing.
 Yum Yum, me like Yum Yum
 like who's the target audience, Cavemen?
 I know two thing yellow fireball rise in sky and Yum Yum
 Yum Yum donuts
 Yum Yum.
 Now there's gourmet donuts that are deep fried and gold.
 I had a gourmet donut, i didn't realise it was a gourmet donut
 i just pointed at a donut and the donut guy started ringing it up
 He's like " That will be 3.99."
 I was like i only want one of them
 He's like " That is the price for one of them."
 Then there was this long awkward pause where i waited for him to lean forward and
 say
 "Just Kidding." But he didn't
 He just looked at me like " Got ya Tubby."
 Cause he knew i'd pay
 cause i was in a donut shop
 It's not like i was there to buy a yoga mat
 Boston
 this is like donut ground zero right? bumholes