If It Doesn't Snow On Christmas

Santa works all day in his workshop
 Makin' a lotta games and toys
 Then one day he hops in his sleigh
 To bring them to the girls and boys
 Santa's just as nice as he could be
 There's just one fucking thing that worries me
 If it doesn't snow on Christmas
 How's fatass gonna use that sleigh?
 In case of rain, would there be a train
 That'll speed him on his way?
 If it doesn't snow this Christmas
 How's fatass get around to us?
 Say he breaks down on his way to town
 Would they let him use a bus?
 I sent him a nice long letter
 And I hope it's not in vain
 I really would feel much better
 If the fat fuck flew a plane
 Now they say he's got eight reindeer
 For the sleigh he's drivin' here
 But how the fuck's he go
 If it doesn't snow on Christmas this year?
 Take it, boys, ah, that's so pretty
 Wonderful, mo'fucking wonderful
 I sent him a nice long letter
 And I hope it's not in vain
 I really would feel much better
 If the fat fuck flew a plane
 Now they say he's got eight reindeer
 For the sleigh he's drivin' here
 But how the fuck's he go
 If it doesn't snow on Christmas this year?
 Alright! I got a treat for ya!
 Listen to these kids! Are they great?
 Beautiful, beautiful!
 Are these kids great, or what?
 Ah, they're wonderful, wonderful
 ...for the sleigh he's driving here
 How will fatso-
 Ah, ah! Watch your mouths, your mothers might be listenin' now, that's very sweet
 Terrific, kids, terrific! You're just great, everybody come over here!
 Ya did a great job and I got candy for everybody! (Yay!)
 Alright! Alright! Which one of you little pricks stole all the fuckin' candy canes?
 Ah, nice, nice kids
 Where'd ya get 'em, from a fuckin' jail? Fuckin' reform school brats!
 Get the fuck outta here, all of ya
 (Awww!)
 "It was Stewart! I saw! You took the candy!"
 "I didn't do nothin'!"
 "Yes, you did!"