Rose Potion

The dead walk behind me
 Though I do not recognize their faces
 I know they are here to remind me
 Of the space between the spaces
 I'm drinking down a potion
 I decocted from the roses in my garden
 When my spirits told me
 They could feel my heart was hardening
 What you call God
 I call the mysteries of the Universe
 What difference does it really make after all?
 If we had another chance to do it right
 I'd give it all I had
 Just like I did before when you left me with nothing at all
 
 The darkness this has brought upon me
 Hungers for the pain, like when I was young
 And losing teeth
 Which I loved to wiggle so deliciously with my tongue
 Now I see you're not a perfect prism
 Just the perfect foil for my masochism
 Tell me, do I look different to you
 In light of our little cataclysm?
 What you call God
 I call the mysteries of the Universe
 What difference does it really make after all?
 If we had another chance to do it right
 I'd give it all I had
 Just like I did before when you left me with nothing at all
 I'm tired and I feel ashamed
 Of how I've let my narcissism reign untamed
 And yet I know that to blame myself
 Is part of the same old game
 The only way to get free is to die
 Without dying
 And I'm ready to give it a try
 At least I think so – but to change is terrifying
 What you call God
 I call the mysteries of the Universe
 What difference does it really make after all?
 If we had another chance to do it right
 I'd give it all I had
 Just like I did before when you left me with nothing at all
 
 They kissed my petals with their vapor lips
 And savored my salty fingertips
 And cradled me in thorny
 Branches til the morning came