The Gnu Song

A year ago last Thursday
 I was strolling in the zoo
 When I met a man
 Who thought he knew the lot
 He was laying down the law
 About the habits of baboons
 And the number of quills a porcupine has got
 So I asked him what's that creature there
 He answered, "It's a helk"
 I might have gone on thinking that was true
 If the animal in question hadn't
 Put that cap to shame
 And remarked "I ain't a Helk"
 I'm a Gnu
 I'm a Gnu
 I'm a Gnu
 How do you do?
 You really ought to know
 Who's who
 I'm a Gnu
 Spelled G-N-U
 I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo
 So let me introduce
 I'm g-neither man or moose
 Oh G-no, G-no, G-no - I'm a Gnu
 I had taken furnished lodgings down on Rustington-on-Sea
 Whence I traveled on to Ashton-under-Lyme
 And the second night I stayed there
 I was wakened from a dream
 Which I'll tell you all about some other time
 Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my head
 Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew
 A bison, no it's not a bison
 An okapi, I don't think it's an okapi
 Could it be a hartebeest?
 When I seemed to hear a voice
 I'm a Gnu
 I'm a Gnu
 A g-nother Gnu
 I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
 I'm a Gnu
 How do you do?
 You really ought to k-now
 A who's who
 I'm a Gnu
 Spelled G-N-U
 Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue
 G-nor am I in the leaset like that dreadful heartebeest
 G-No G-No G-No!
 I'm a Gnu
 G-no, G-no, G-no
 I'm a Gnu
 G-no, G-no, G-no
 I'm a Gnu