Can I Interest You In Hannukah?

Jon: Can I interest you in Hannukah?
 Maybe something in a Festival of Lights
 It's a sensible alternative to Christmas
 And it lasts for seven -for you - eight nights.
 Stephen: Hanukkah huh? I've never really thought about it.
 Jon: Well, you could do worse.
 Stephen: Is it merry?
 Jon: It's kind of merry
 Stephen: Is it cheery?
 Jon: It's got some cheer
 Stephen: Is it jolly?
 Jon: Look, I wouldn't know from jolly.
 But it's not my least unfavorite time of year.
 Stephen: When's it start?
 Jon: The 25th
 Stephen: Of December?
 Jon: Kislev
 Stephen: When is when exactly?
 Jon: I will check
 Stephen: Are there presents?
 Jon: Yes, indeed 8 days of presents
 Which means one nice one, then a week of dreck.
 Stephen: Does Hanukkah commemorate events profound and holy? A king who came to save the world?
 Jon: No, oil that burned quite slowly
 Stephen: Well, it sounds fantastic!
 Jon: There's more
 Jon: We have latkes
 Stephen: What are they?
 Jon: Potato pancakes. We have dreidels
 Stephen: What are they?
 Jon: Wooden tops. We have candles
 Stephen: What are they?
 Jon: THEY ARE CANDLES!
 And when we light them, oh the fun it never stops.
 What do you say, Stephen, do you want to give Hanukkah a try?
 Stephen: I'm trying see me as a Jew
 I'm trying even harder
 But I believe in Jesus Christ
 So it's a real non-starter
 Jon: I can't interest you in Hanukkah? Just a little bit?
 Stephen: No thanks I'll pass. I'll keep Jesus, you keep your potato pancakes. But I hope that you enjoy 'em on behalf of all of the goyim.
 Jon: Be sure to tell the Pontiff, my people say Good Yontif.
 Stephen: That's exactly what I'll do
 Both: Happy holidays, you
 Jon: too!
 Stephen: Jew!
 Jon: Too?