The Handyman's Lament

When I drop a plate, I sweep the shards of glass into the trash
 When I pop an E string, I can change a new one in a flash
 But when you break, I'm stuck without a clue
 I never learned to fix a thing like you
 When the server's down, you sudo /sbin/reboot in a shell
 When the market tanks, you call a broker, tell him "sell sell sell"
 But when you're down, I don't know what to do
 I never learned to fix a thing like you
 I'll lend an ear
 To find out what I need to repair
 But I will try and dry your eyes and fix the scattered parts
 Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart
 When I cut my hand, I grab the Neosporin from the shelf
 When I stub my toe, I curse in flowing verses to myself
 But when you hurt, I'm stuck without a clue
 I never learned to fix a thing like you
 When a faucet leaks, I tighten up the gasket with a wrench
 When a toilet's stuck, I plunge it down before the floor is drenched
 But when you cry, I don't know what to do
 I never learned to fix a thing like you
 I'll lend an ear
 To find out what I need to repair
 But I will try and dry your eyes and fix the scattered parts
 Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart
 Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart
 I know, I'm slow
 I've got so much to learn
 But you'll see, I'll be
 The place that you can turn
 I'll lend an ear
 To find out what I need to repair
 But I will try and dry your eyes and fix the scattered parts
 Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart
 I'll lend an ear
 To find out what I need to repair
 But I will try and dry your eyes and fix the scattered parts
 Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart
 Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart