Joshua's Testimony

I remember being introduced to Jesus
 By my grandmother when I was 5 years old
 I was saved sitting in the front seat
 Of her 1989 Lincoln Town Car
 At the intersection of University
 And Lockwood Ridge in Sarasota
 At that moment I only knew of Jesus
 But it took me almost 30 more years
 To actually know him
 And this is my testimony
 Time to introduce a person with a past that's full of trauma
 Ever since the age of 4 been steady dealing with the drama
 And I never met my daddy perc n zans imprisoned momma
 Had me dealing with depression, life on pause just like a comma
 Wit a Exclamation point when Delvis murdered with a llama
 I was turned into a "we can do this whenever you wanna"
 Started selling for a livin slangin pills and marijuana
 Lost my happy ever after, it was time huh, once upon a
 Had to turn my life around or pretty soon I'd be a goner
 Had my knees upon the ground the father blessed me with a daughter
 Told me time to slow it down because the fast life had me caught up
 And to share my testimony not to hide from how I was brought up
 Jesus freed me from my shackles and a slave I was no longer
 His love guided me to light when I thought everything was somber
 If you're searching for a purpose but depression getting stronger
 Take the weight up off your shoulders and let God do what he promised
 I was there rolling with the boys to clear my anxious mind up
 Only way to silence what's inside not knowing where I'd wind up
 See my inside it was tarnished and the surface it was shined up
 But that counterfeit persona not the life for which I signed up
 From the outside looking in you'd think I had it all together
 Soul was dyin, inner cryin thought I'd feel that way forever
 I was hiding from my darkness hoping light I would endeavor
 Hidden trauma not allowing light to enter whatsoever
 Perfect storm I couldn't weather, didn't matter if I was clever
 Cuz the tighter I would hold on my relationships would sever
 Take my life man I could never, so I reached up for the lever
 When I tried to pull it down God said let me apply the pressure
 So together we would venture to the root of my depression
 We uncovered my aggression and the party life obsession
 Stemmed from unresolved trauma, an ancient memory suppression
 Now I'm walking with the Spirit and the strength to stop regression
 It's important to remember that our lives will not be perfect
 Different triggers circumstances bring the pain back to the surface
 But there's power in the pain in fact, its key to finding purpose
 Cuz your melancholy moments could make living life worth it
 For somebody who is hurting, facing internal destruction
 The 1 thing I know for certain is that God provides instruction
 He told me open the curtain not to hide behind obstructions
 So I put my faith him an he began his reconstruction
 Where before I couldn't function, but today I'm finding pleasure
 All the garbage from my past somehow he turned it into treasure
 And I finally realized the love of God cannot be measured
 He's the father, he's the king, and we will always be together
 If ur looking for an answer bow ur head and close ur eyes
 And tell the father that ur ready for his will to lead your lives
 And when you finally to feel the peace
 You really shouldn't be surprised
 That ur anxiety has ceased and blessings raining from the skies
 Heavenly Father
 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
 And grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me
 Then I will teach transgressors your ways
 So that sinners will turn back to you
 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed
 O God, you who are God my Savior
 And my tongue will sing of your righteousness
 Open my lips, Lord
 And my mouth will declare your praise