Pinocchio: A Soliloquy

I wonder what's around me actually
 If it's all just coding passively
 Controlling everywhere I'm going
 Directing everything I'm knowing
 If my muscles move cause they want them to
 And I'm tricked to think what I saw them do
 Was my own move in this game of chess
 When it's really them who's playing us
 So I wanna have God in my veins
 Cause I heard she saves
 If this a game, I don't care to win
 I'm not a hero, man, but she's a heroine
 I wanna die free
 Sent to heaven with a needle stuck inside me
 Fuck an I.V., let my mind bleed, I be
 Auctioning my soul so God won't find me
 I'll do blow with a broad
 Crack is a God, heaven's in a bag in the car
 White lighter heathens
 Bringing bad luck to my fire breathin'
 I wanna be gone
 But gone is a term
 Gone is a word
 Puts pawns in an urn
 We're all gonna burn
 And we're all gonna die
 So let me get high, skip the stars in the sky
 And I'll head to fuckin' heaven, take God for a ride, take God for a ride
 I need a fuckin' dollar, sell my car and my pride,
 Car and my house and my clothes
 Sell my fuckin' kid if my spouse didn't know
 Spouse didn't know that the house forclosin'
 Clouds in my home, cause my mouth still frozen
 I've been chosen, finally I belong
 So I ain't gonna move 'till I see God
 "This sort of thing has cropped up before,
 And it has always been due to human error."
 See, life's just a puppet show
 And fate's just a clever puppeteer
 So I wanna get high above the strings in the ceiling
 Check for the seams in my skin when it's peelin'
 Cause I know I'm fake and nothing exists
 I could rip my face off, replace it with a cyst
 Then I wouldn't see shit,
 Except for the thoughts in my mind
 And I'd reinvent colors, and reinvent time
 I'd be God and Adam and eve
 And the wind combating the trees
 Would be patterns of me
 But the home I think
 Is a product of the puppet strings
 And they find it amusing
 That a pawn believes he's choosing
 That a pawn believes in freewill
 Like he chose the shoes his feet fill
 I didn't choose these, I was forced in 'em
 Coerced like a porcelain doll who was molded in
 A world to be
 And I have to break so my soul can leave
 I find my freedom in sock drawers
 And it's not my fault
 I'm just a puppet and they're playing with me
 We're not in control
 We're just part of a show
 So shoot me higher
 Gettin' higher now
 I see my body below
 And everyone's cryin'
 My mom's in my house
 And my eyes look dead, cause my soul's comin' out
 They gave us dreams as the escape
 Out of this game we're forced to play
 And drugs were made
 To force the dream on restless days
 So bless the weeks when I could
 Sleep and dream in peace
 Cause now I cease to exist
 I plead to God to let me live
 For the puppets in our hopeless fate
 I love them more, then the show I hate
 So let me go, tie the strings back on
 I'd rather be a pawn than pass alone