Grief/Relief

Drowning in a sea of consciousness
 Off the coast of depravity
 Left the ruins and sank in your skin
 Wept and wept as I faced punishment
 Watched souls escape through a lens
 Forked tongue spewing venom
 Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes
 This is how I always pictured I'd die
 Searched for grief in a painting called relief
 Bathed in lust to remind me
 That desires always erase me
 So love doesn't come easy
 And hatred sings a song so pure to me
 It fuels my insecurities
 Always fail to cover my tracks
 So when I fall I never react
 Trying to search for grace in this pain
 Let it flow like the blood in my veins
 My nails can only carry so much dirt
 So I'll cut off my fingers to make this work
 Searched for inspiration among travesty
 Found myself alone craving security
 Another door shut in my face
 Another reason to kill the memories
 Buried them deep inside my head
 Lost souls sleeping in my bed
 Watched souls escape through a lens
 Forked tongue spewing venom
 Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes
 This is how I always pictured I'd die
 Though I'd like to say goodbye
 Forced dementia through my mind
 So whoever's controlling you now
 Let them know I fucking tried
 Watched the dust settle
 Heard the rite of passage
 Locked eyes with a ghost that failed me
 Searched for solace in dead memories
 So for the closure we'll never have
 I'll continue to scream your name
 Until I feel nothing
 I seek nothing
 Carried the weight of words you spoke
 Felt your God clenching my throat
 Left to dwell for eternity
 About love, hate, and everything in between
 Inhaling smoke and breathing out fire
 Wish I was never born with desire
 The gods have cast a burden upon my soul
 And anguish cuts my throat
 Leave me to the worms so they can feast
 On all my dead-weight dreams
 So find me hanging from your light
 So I can keep myself warm
 For these times are trying
 And you lost intentions once pure
 Put your hands around my neck
 I want you to feel victorious again
 So shall I sink like Virginia Woolf
 Or will I burn like I'm Joan of Arc
 Either way, the world's gonna spin
 So I'll return to my dream state again
 For this remedy, it must die
 Place your flowers in my eyes