First is the Worst

Why are all my lights going out
 Everything I like has a doubt
 Every little light has a cloud
 All the best things in life are the worst things around
 I invest in the light to get hurt by the clouds
 Best in this life always turning around
 Stabbed in the back then I burn to the ground
 Ask for the facts never heard a damn sound
 So its back to the raps where I search for my crown
 First is the worst, so my worth is the first
 Thirst for the first putting hurt in the verse
 Cause the worst is the best, I'm the best, I'm the worst
 I am cursed, I am blessed, I am blessed to be cursed
 Wants and my needs, on my knees for my wants
 With god ima plead like please but he got
 My needs ina plot i can't see feeling lost
 But he leads from the top
 Loss is a need gotta bleed to be boss
 Talk turn to scream with these demons who plot
 Plotting on me to not see what I got
 But I'm dropping my seeds we'll see what will pop
 All is on me to succeed with my shot
 Fought when I'm weak, all these losses just falling on me
 It won't stop, all these blocks in the street
 Walk through the heat in the spot got it locked with the key
 In my pocket confidently
 First is the worst, watch and you'll see
 The worst kinda hurt was first a love
 You work and you work for the worst to come
 Coming in first, I'm the worst to come
 Running in search to be perfect. um
 Loving on her she the perfect one
 Running from her, she the first to run
 Loving on her and it hurts to love
 I done heard enough this stuff burdensome
 I'm stuck burning up I'm done hurting from
 The dumb version of the uncertain love
 But I'm strung to her as she turns and runs
 I'm hung under her and its the worst to come
 When the loving her turns to hurting us
 First is the worst, now I turn on us
 Trust that its first its the worst I'm stuck
 Must find my worth so I turn this up
 Love come with hurt so I search above
 But above put the hurt so I learn how to love
 Blessed and I'm cursed I hurt from my blessed
 Best from the cursed the hurt is the best
 Blessed and I'm cursed I hurt from my blessed
 Best from the cursed the hurt is the best