Dick'taphone

kevin bloody wilson
 miscellaneous
 dick'taphone
 hello operator. i'd like to make a call
 can i have 477 3104?
 i'm sorry sir, could you repeat that number once again?
 477 3104, did ya get it then?
 could you speak a little slower? 477's all i got
 3104, are you bloody deaf or what?
 look, i got the first bit, but i just can't get the last
 well stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse
 chorus
 stick that fuckin' phone, up your fuckin' arse
 you're supposed to fuckin' help, not make it fuckin' hard
 i'm just tryin' to make a call, but you're just being smart
 so you can stick that fuckin' phone, up your fuckin' arse
 good morning i'm from telecom, come to disconnect your phone
 for a breach of regulations just a couple of days ago
 you upset our operator with a pretty nasty call
 what are you fuckin' on about? it was all her fuckin' fault!
 well she claims that it was all your fault, she really was distressed
 what about your customers, she upset me first!
 we've got her written statement, which shortly will be read
 but it might help if you'd recall exactly what you said
 i said
 chorus
 well that's not exactly on sir, it's just not on at all
 you must use common etiquette if you wish to make a call
 and 'please' and 'thank you' also help, you can't talk to her like that
 'please' and fuckin' 'thank you' well you fuckin' tell her that!
 and she knows without a telephone i'm really in the shit
 well perhaps if you'd apologise that just might help a bit
 apologise? apologise? apologise to who?
 just go in and ask for operator 42
 good morning, are you waiting? is there something i can do?
 yes, i'd like to speak to operator 42
 i'm sorry sir, i missed that, could you repeat what you just said?
 ah shit! i don't believe it! here we fuckin' go again!
 operator 42, look i'll just write it down
 oh operator 42, i'll see if she's around
 jeez, they're bloody useless, i'm sure that they're all deaf
 no wonder that i did me quince, no wonder that i said
 chorus
 now they'll make me sit around and wait all bloody day
 just so they can make me sweat and have the final say
 that's like the public servicem they make you scrape and bbow
 arrgghh shit! she's fuckin' ugly, if that's her coming now!
 i'm operator 42, i'm busy, make it fast
 did a bloke tell you to stickthat fuckin' phone right up your arse?
 yes he did, the filthy animal, i remember now
 well you'd better fuckin' brace yourself 'cause they're bringing it around!
 chorus x 2