Walk Like Thunder

I have this new tattoo of which the story must be told
 About the night I almost overdosed ten years ago
 I woke up in the hospital with skin clammy and cold
 And tubes in my urethra, down my throat and up my nose
 My friends and the doctors were all shocked I wasn't dead
 That's when Katrina looked at me and this is what she said
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 So I walked to the rebel spot, I walked all over uptown
 I walked right side up and I walked upside down
 I walked to Chetzemoka with my eyes fixed on the ground, yeah
 We walked all over Chetze Beach and kept the rocks we found
 Then I walked back to my parents' house, I walked back to my old bed, yeah
 I walked back and I walked fast past all the voices in my head
 I walked with the sweats and I walked with the chills
 I walked in New York City and I walked in Bed-ford Hills
 I walked into open mic nights and I walked into the rooms
 I walked feeling optimistic and I walked feeling doomed
 I walked with some mama's boys and I walked with some punks
 I walked dressed up like a rabbit, I walked dressed up like a skunk
 I walked with some givers and I walked with some leeches
 I walked all by myself and I walked with the Moldy Peaches
 I walked all over the world so I could sing my songs to you
 And to your most desperate emails I'd said, "This is what I do"
 I walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 But at some point I got so comfortable
 That I didn't even realize that I'd started to crawl
 That my old friend Ammi died at 37 of a heart attack
 And I cracked 'cause people my age are not supposed to die like that
 No, no, no, no, people my age are not supposed to die like that
 He was the old manager of the sidewalk cafe
 That place was a second home to me, it's where I learned to play
 And his personality really helped create a space
 Where a bunch of honest misfits could all gather and feel safe
 He was a cynic, a supporter, he was crazy, he was queer
 He'd either yell out, "Cut the bullshit" or he'd say, "I'm glad you're here"
 And it was always such an honor to have Ammi on my side
 That's why it hit me like a Mack truck when I found out that he died
 Yeah, it hit me like a Mack trucks when I found out that he died
 Then enter Alex, 33 years old and so sick with the cancer
 And trapped inside a body that betrayed his real gender
 We all hoped and prayed that he would go into remission
 At least long enough, just long enough to complete his transition
 He said, "Kimya, did you know Eleventeen's my favorite song?"
 I said, "Then get your ass on stage right now and you can sing along"
 That's the very first song I ever wrote all by myself
 It's about angels and recovery and friends and hope and health
 By the time we finished singing he was pissed off, he was scared
 He said, "I lost my home, my lover, my insurance and my hair
 And now I'm about to lose you too, my new friend"
 I looked into those big blue eyes and said we'll meet again
 Yeah, I looked into his sad blue eyes and said we'll meet again
 Then I got the phone call from Alyssa and she told me he was dying
 By the time I got to his bedside we were both already flying
 We held hands and we sang songs, tried to be strong floated around
 While I cursed the skin that he was in for all the ways it had let him down
 Yeah, I cursed the skin that he was in for all the ways it had let him down
 But at the same time I was taking my own body for granted
 First I lost sight of my feet then they became un-planted
 And I never felt so stupid or so selfish or so sad, yeah
 My body had been good to me and I treated it so bad, yeah
 My body had been good to me and I treated it so bad
 Then he said, "Mama, I don't want my friends to watch me die"
 So I kissed his cheek, made him a shirt and then I said goodbye
 And they cremated him in the shirt that I drew
 Of the two of us that said they're flying over you too
 Now the silver pink ponies have my homie in their crew
 So I tightened up my laces and knew what I had to do
 I started walking again, I started walking again, I miss my friends
 I started walking again, I started walking again, I miss my friends
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 (Walk like thunder)
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder
 Even creeps as a habit, predisposed
 To systematically clinging together in the cold
 Know the measure of a pack, it's not a question of the whole
 The individuals that bottleneck into the fold
 On a March blank Sabbath, news from the ministry of make-believe
 That reach a tarmac in Minneapolis, middle see
 Yesterday the cells inside his chest were growing baby teeth
 Today a raven radiated vacancy
 Wait, two years ago a friend of mine
 Called me to redefine all enemy-kind
 I'm at the hospital at twenty-four and no one knew the future
 I'll take it everybody knows the future
 Antibodies hatching in a hellaback with no room to maneuver
 Like disappearing pills into the masticated fuchsia
 I asked you how you feeling, you told me like a robot
 I gave you a Nintendo, you gave yourself a Mohawk
 You let us will you down beneath the leaning tower of flow charts
 To be around your beats without a beeping sound of Bogart
 And speak about whatever people speak about
 When nobody's acknowledging the obvious disease about the crowbar
 In deep plane slope, comatose of baggage
 From king of hearts to carrying for jackals
 And never got to sing us all his own swan song right
 Coincidentally the rebel in me walk like thunder
 Walk like thunder