On the Essence of Transformation

This is the nexus of perdition, this is the core of the fall
 Worked out arduously in fear, trembling and fever
 The body wrecked, the mind shattered
 The soul destroyed, ripe for apocalypse
 And everything that constituted yourself
 All the things you've done and those you could have
 The joyous memories, the warmth and the calm
 The silly thought that one day a change would come
 The naive adolescence, off track with its dreams
 But in the end - harmless and innocent
 The anecdotes, and digressions and pauses
 Those moments of bliss atop the green hills
 The illusion of belief, justification and truth
 All those things you've learned for later, for another life
 And every word that could be spoken, every thought that could be born
 And all that could have been is now no more