The Lonely Jew On Christmas

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
 My friends won't let me join in any games
 And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree
 Or leave water out for Rudolph
 'Cause there's something wrong with me
 My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity
 I'm a Jew
 A lonely Jew
 On Christmas
 Hanukkah is nice but why is it
 That Santa passes over my house every year?
 And instead of eating ham, I have to eat kosher latkes
 Instead of "Silent Night", I'm singing "Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh"
 And what the fuck is up
 With lighting all these fucking candles, tell me, please?
 I'm a Jew
 A lonely Jew
 I can't be merry
 'Cause I'm Hebrew
 On Christmas
 ♪
 Hey little boy, I couldn't help but hear
 You're feeling left out of Christmas cheer
 And I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
 This is the one month that you should be glad
 'Cause it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
 You don't have to deal with the season at all
 You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity
 You don't have to have to go to grandma's house
 With your alcoholic family
 And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
 And have him breathe his stinky breath on me
 That's right, you're a Jew
 A styling Jew
 It's a good time to be Hebrew
 On Christmas
 On Christmas