I Know It's Today

Settle in girls, it's story time!
 There's a princess in a tower, oh, my gosh, that's just like me
 Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut, but the witch won't set her free
 She passes time by singing like someone else I know
 As years go by, she sits and waits, as years go by? Uh-oh
 A torturous existence, I don't remember this part
 She wishes she were dead? Skip ahead, skip ahead
 But in the end, Rapunzel finds a millionaire
 The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair
 So I know, he'll appear
 'Cause there are rules and there are strictures
 I believe the story books I read by candlelight
 My white knight and his steed
 Will look just like these pictures
 It won't be long now, I guarantee
 Day number 23
 I know it's today, I know it's today
 Oh, here's a good one
 It's a classic
 There's a princess in a coma, glad it's her instead of me
 Pretty maiden in a glass box, how I wonder, does she pee?
 Blah, blah, blah, blah, poison apple, boring, boring evil queen
 Filler, filler, been there, read that, seven shorties on the scene
 Skip ahead, skip ahead
 But in the end, the princess
 Wakes up with a start
 The prince is good at kissing
 And melting Snow White's heart
 So I know, he'll appear
 And his armor will be blinding
 As shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose
 He'll propose on one knee
 And our prenup will be binding
 About time we set a wedding date
 Day number 958
 I know it's today, he'll show up today
 There's a princess, any princess, take your pick, they're all like me
 Not exactly, I'm still waiting, they're out living happily
 Ever after, better get here, I want love in seconds flat
 No one needs these middle bits, oops, did I do that?
 Cut the villains, cut the vamping, cut this fairytale
 Cut the peril and the pitfalls, cut the puppet and the whale
 Cut the monsters, cut the curses, keep the intro, cut the verses
 And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting!
 But I know, he'll appear, though I seem a bit bipolar
 And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind
 I'm a find, I'm a catch, and a very gifted bowler
 It won't be long now, I guarantee, day number-
 Are you there, God?
 It's me, Fiona
 It's me, Fiona
 Now I know, he'll appear
 'Cause there are rules and there are strictures
 I believe the story books I read by candlelight
 My white knight, my knight and his steed
 Will look just like these pictures
 It won't be long now, I guarantee
 Day number 23
 Day number 958
 Day number 8423
 I know it's today, ooh
 (I know it's today, I know it's today, ooh)
 I know it's today, ooh
 (I know it's today, I know it's today, ooh)
 I know it's today, I know it's today!