Manhattan Projects

Right there, what you're saying is everything I wish I could
 But the thoughts get lost, and I think I'm lost for good
 I'm learning to paint small, but I have to be still
 And that one shines, but still
 There I go again painting with my ideas, a little strokes, a little tears
 I can't stop these shaky hands from mixing everything up
 And I wander, but what's really being lost enough?
 Not all who wonder are lost in thought, not all who give live all they've got
 Like a thousand suns bursting at once, are only a spark of the mightiest one
 But that doesn't stop the planets from spinning month after heavy month
 Into years that I forget memories and friends
 Years I get to live lucky and try to mend
 Crossing over back again, over and back again
 With every line, trying to dig in crossing over and back again
 I am become the destroyer of worlds, and when the bomb drops, my heart drops too
 And doubt sets in
 Please hope begin, make a way, make it calm for everything that flies inside
 The sky? This is it? but everyone can see this
 No one owns it but we all do until we're all satisfied
 Shaky knees, shaky thoughts, shaky near the business end
 Where I see it all get lost
 The things I made become the things I've forgot
 This is what you wanted me to build, or that's what I thought
 In battle, in the forest, at the top in the mountains
 On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows
 In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame
 The good that we've done before, defends even us
 Even poor little us