Nightsong for Her

You have no idea how many nights I've stayed awake
 While you're far away in dreams of
 Things I pray are not scary
 For you look so at peace
 The river of your hair is making its way straight towards me
 Lately the days have been harder than before
 You're hurting more and more
 We'll soon hit our floor, be stronger than before
 The world has been relentless and I can not be happy
 While your life is still on hold
 And I'm one year older I think of what I have to show
 What I've learned and what I know and
 How to love you and how to give it space
 When to push and when to stop trying to relate
 I hope and I pray right now while I'm still awake
 You're at peace and far away
 Meeting a better me in sleep,
 Sharing an evening or some tea and that the
 Rejection of late isn't fighting its way into dreams
 Your well deserved dreams
 Too often I have been staying awake until my eyes ache
 I'm sorry I don't hold while you fall asleep
 I've been sitting up in bed until my body beg for rest
 I'm sorry I don't hold you while you fall asleep
 I'm sorry I don't hold you while you fall asleep