Penis Song

Ladies and gentlemen
 Introducing, the penis song
 (Oh no he didn't)
 (Honk a dick)
 This is my penis song
 I wish that I had a bigger shlong
 One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
 One of those porno king kong dongs
 Check it out, yo, uh
 I wish my dick was bigger, yup I can admit it
 I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit
 If I had a big ol' cock, what would I do?
 I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw
 Get buck naked and start streaking at my school
 And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed
 With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and
 Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man
 With no clothes on just to show off
 My dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft
 Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the cock that I have
 I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package
 And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets
 Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter"
 Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards 'cause I mean
 I know that God made us all different and special
 But shit did he really have to invent lopsided testicles?
 I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like
 Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your
 Balls
 I mean I don't know, I just feel bad
 This is my penis song
 I wish that I had a bigger shlong
 One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
 Fellas if y'all feel me, sing along
 Yo ladies (Yeah?)
 Ladies! (Yeah?)
 Do you want a guy with an average dick?
 Hell no!
 Then, wait you don't?
 No, you honkey dick
 Okay that's cool, no that's fine
 I promise, I'm so self conscious
 That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August
 Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets
 Trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso
 I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand
 I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man
 And even though girls have told me that I'm big
 When I watch a porno I feel like a little kid
 I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy
 Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me
 And every MC in hip-hop has got a huge cock
 Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got
 I mean, shit
 If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My Dick
 With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with
 And talk about my package and multiple orgasms
 'Cause all that I see is that size does matter
 We got Enzite, penis pumps surgery to Viagra
 But when it all adds up you can't really change it
 I'm not a porno star, I just gotta face it
 You know, what can I do
 This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes
 So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big guys stop
 This is my penis song
 I wish that I had a bigger shlong
 One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
 Fellas if y'all feel me sing along