If I Only Had A Brain

Suppose I accidentally got my shit together
 Would I get a medal
 Or a pat on the back and a little feather
 I could stick in my cap or pin it to my shirt
 Go out in the yard and poke it in the dirt
 Or leave it in the woods where it couldn't be found
 If it fell over, would it make a sound
 And if it did, would it be the sound that you like
 Or should I do it over until I get it right
 You say everything I know is wrong
 So do me a favor, and play along for a minute
 As the rusty gears turn
 Don't be alarmed if you smell something burning upstairs
 It's a little BB rolling around in a box car
 See us together
 Maybe it wouldn't be hard to explain
 If I only had a brain
 Somewhere on a higher mental plane
 (Somewhere on a higher mental plane)
 I might learn to come in from the rain
 (I might learn to come in from the rain)
 If I had a clue would I still be here with you
 (If I had a clue would I still be here with you)
 Gee whiz, if I only had a brain
 (Gee whiz, if I only had a brain)
 Who's that
 Oh, my little friend Cupid
 Wearing a shirt that says I'm with stupid
 Always nearby wherever I go
 He's looking out for me, don't you know
 Mr. Excitement, never in a rut
 Johnny on the spot with an arrow in the butt
 Ouch! I guess your love is true
 Now, if I could only get a clue
 Somewhere on a higher mental plane
 (Somewhere on a higher mental plane)
 I might learn to come in from the rain
 (I might learn to come in from the rain)
 If I had a clue would I still be here with you
 (If I had a clue would I still be here with you)
 Gee whiz, if I only had a brain
 (Gee whiz, if I only had a brain)
 Had a brain
 Had a brain
 Had a brain
 Had a brain