If Momma Was Married

If Momma was married
 We'd live in a house
 As private as private can be
 Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse
 Two monkeys, one father, six turtles and me
 If Momma was married
 If Momma was married I'd jump in the air
 And give all my toe shoes to you
 I'd get all these hair-ribbons out of my hair
 And once and for all, I'd get Momma out, too
 If Momma was married
 Momma, get out your white dress
 You've done it before
 Without much success
 Momma, Godspeed and God bless
 We're not keeping score
 What's one more or less?
 Oh, Momma, say yes
 And waltz down the aisle while you may
 I'll gladly support you
 I'll even escort you
 And I'll gladly give you away
 Oh, Momma, get married today
 If Momma was married
 There wouldn't be any more "Let me entertain you"
 "Let me make you smile"
 I will do some kicks
 I will do some tricks
 "Sing out, Louise!"
 "Smile, baby!"
 Momma, please take our advice
 We aren't the Lunts
 I'm not Fanny Price
 Momma, we'll buy you the rice
 If only this once, you wouldn't think twice
 It could be so nice
 If Momma got married to stay
 But Momma gets married
 And married
 And married
 And never gets carried away
 Oh, Momma
 Oh, Momma
 Oh, Momma
 Get married today!