Breaking Down

She said I wonder when it'll be my day
 'Cause I'm not too far from breakin' down
 All I've got are screams inside but somehow they
 Come out in a smile and I'm wonderin' if I'll always feel this way
 This way
 The cross is heavy what a burden, am I crazy, Tyler Durdin
 Don't get better seem to worsen, I don't even know this person
 In the mirror I hate my sight, two more oxys sleep tonight
 From fun to havoc, gotta have it alcoholic and an addict
 This is tragic need some magic I'm insane my thoughts are static
 Full throttle hit the bottle, pride and ego date a model
 Drunk as hell stagger wobble, eat them pills, gobble gobble
 Shake all mornin' panic attack will I find my way back
 Needle in a haystack, someone pass the J back
 Numb the pain, all the time can't believe I wrote this rhyme
 It's my secret this is mine, I'm sick of jail an' doin' time
 On my knees God take my life insanity cuts me like a knife
 Ain't got the strength to even fight to take the pain not tonight
 I keep a smile inside I crumble every way I turn I stumble
 I need you but I hate you I need some kind of breakthrough
 I sit in tears can't take it now I live in Hell I'm breakin' down
 She said I wonder when it'll be my day
 'Cause I'm not too far from breakin' down
 All I've got are screams inside but somehow they
 Come out in a smile and I'm wonderin' if I'll always feel this way
 This way
 Wakin' up blood is itchin', scared to death who is snitchin'
 Feel like hell look at my health sad when you can't trust yourself
 Pushed my dad stole from mom entire life made of drama
 All my friends weathered down when I need help their not around
 Trapped in a mazeI give up run in place my feet are stuck
 Things I've done I'm so embarrassed,
 Oawned the things that I most cherish
 Search all day for what I need, demeanor's mean my eyes are green
 I trade my soul for one more bean, friends are dyin' am I the sequel
 After pills then comes the needle, so much stress I ain't workin'
 Always shakin' bodies hurtin', can't forget got to muention
 Extreme anger some depression, delirium tremors I can die
 Look to the sky wonder why hallucinate with open eyes
 30 pack every night I give up I quit the fight
 Hit my knees saw a light, pray to God with all my might
 Before my daughter and Mini Thin I heard a voice say Jason listen
 I love you son and you are missed my name is Jesus, remember this
 And maybe you've fallen down
 And maybe you just took the long way home
 But baby you could never love you
 Like me
 And one day this will fade away in
 The mirror you'll see your smiling face
 And standing next to you will always be me
 Yeah me
 If Mini can do this, so can you
 First 2 verse 2002
 God loves everyone that he meets
 Help me put these poems in beats
 It ain't been easy but I can breathe
 Now I work wit' those in need
 Making progress prayers on knees
 In the back of my mind hear that disease
 Tell me about those nights, you stayed awake
 Tell me about those days you hated me
 Tell me how you'd rather die alone, than bein' stuck here with me
 One day you're going to see things my way
 You gave me so much room, that I can't break
 Tell me about those nights, you stayed awake
 Tell me about those days you hated me
 Tell me how you'd rather die alone, than bein' stuck here with me
 One day you're going to see things my way
 You gave me so much room, that I can't break