Pop

I had a Mr.Pip
 Mr.Pip is the replica of Dr.Pepper
 But it's the bullshit replica
 Cause dude didn't even get his degree
 Why did you have to drop out and start making pop so soon
 The commercial for diet Dr.pepper
 Says it tastes just like regular Dr.Pepper
 Well then they fucked up
 I went to a doctor
 All he did was suck blood from my neck
 Don't go see Dr.Acula
 I want to hang - I want to hang a map of the world in my house
 And then i'm gonna but pins in all the locations
 That I've traveled to
 But first i'm gonna travel to the top two corners of the map
 So it won't fall down
 You know, people think i'm into sports just because I'm a man
 I'm not into sports I mean I like Gatorade
 But that's about as far as it goes
 And by the way you don't have to be sweaty
 And holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade
 You can just be, a thirsty dude
 Gatorade forgets about this demographic
 I'm thirsty for absolutely no reason
 Other than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips
 For some time
 Can I have a Gatorade too?
 Or does that lightning bolt mean no
 Yeah I'm not into sports
 If I had Athlete's Foot
 My first reaction would be
 "That's not my fucking foot"
 I don't want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box
 I want to have my face on the cover of a Rice Crispies box
 Snap, Crackle, Mitch and Pop
 "Hey, how the fuck did he do that?"
 Well in Hollywood it's all who you know
 And I know Crackle
 I saw on HBO, they were advertising this boxing match
 They said "it's a fight to the finish"
 That's a good place to end
 Every McDonald's commercials end the same way, right?
 McDonald's commercials end like this
 Prices and participation may vary
 Now I want to open a McDonald's
 And not participate in anything
 I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner
 I say "cheeseburgers?
 Nope
 We got spaghetti and blankets
 But we are not affiliated with that clown
 He attracts too many children"