V. Bask in the Lingering

And now we've come to the crux
 The apex and the even horizon
 But I have not some epic thesis
 This more a rambling monologue
 The an illuminating treatise
 What is there to cull or gather
 From this deranged utterance?
 I want to say "since we are here,
 Might as well enjoy the ride."
 But find this trite and heartless
 For many fail and end their lives
 Still I cannot escape this fact
 Survival and conatus reign
 After all is said at days end
 Mother nature, even i,
 Go ever forth like it or not.
 Understand it or not
 Inertia is a mighty force
 Perhaps our bane is asking why
 And this is solely human
 Disaffected in knowing how
 We always beg the question
 To what avail? to what avail?
 Lower life has not this plague
 That blessed curse unique to us
 But ought we to suppress it
 Shouldn't we instead engage?
 It is with grief that I report
 My still and ever present void
 I do not know why I am alive
 The urgency of my tortured soul
 Does not necessitate an answer
 But reason and humility
 Encourage me to linger
 So on I go, forever striving
 To make sense of my environment,
 And even enjoy it