Penis in Your Mouth

Uhm, seriously though, let's break it down
 Let's get serious for a second
 How weird is it, ladies?
 How weird is it that we put penises in our mouths?
 Like, shit it's crazy
 Like ladies and gays, but I'm not even including gay dudes
 'Cause it's like you already, you have one
 So you get it, but like
 We put penises in our mouth
 Like looking your wife, your girlfriend, right now
 Look at your bestie, look at her right now
 She has put so many penises in her mouth
 Just shoved them in there
 Where sandwiches go
 That is sandwich space
 And we just do instinctively like we're supposed to do it or something
 Like if you put in front of me a mint and a chocolate milk
 And a penis and say, "What do these have in common?" I'll be like, "They go in my mouth!"
 I'm not stupid
 I'm very smart
 We graduated school and everything
 Did not drink the entire time I was pregnant
 How about that one?
 Thank you, did not drink the entire time I was pregnant
 And I'm gonna be very honest with you
 It was the hardest four days of my life
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 But I did it, I did it, right?
 You gotta do it for your baby
 You just do it
 And I did, I'm proud of myself
 Oh, it's weird a comedian
 A lot of people say to me, "Morgan, if you weren't a comic, you'd be the funniest girl in the office."
 Which is not true at all
 'Cause most of my friends are like male comics
 And they would never be the funny guy in the office, right?
 They'd be be like the fucking crazy guy in the office
 They'd be the guy where everyone's gathered in a little kitchen at lunch
 Like around the microwave just going
 Oh, that guy talks about rape all day
 Something's wrong with him
 No, like seriously wrong with him
 Like he shouldn't work here
 He shouldn't work here
 He thinks it's funny
 I don't understand