The Floorless Jig

Well blood is thicker than water
 But liquor's thicker than either
 My mother said I was born to perform
 I'm beginning to believe her
 That girl I wed said I'd get to nothin' big
 But she never figured on my floorless jig!
 A martyr needs a murder
 To lend creedence to his fable
 While I never meant to hurt her
 Like Cain I am unable to surmount the odds
 When my cards are so clearly rigged
 The holy hand of chance deigned I'd dance this floorless jig!
 I wed the preacher's daughter
 And she rode me like a mule
 But as that rheumy room besought her
 Old horny gave me my gruel
 Well, she bled in bed just like a fresh stuck pig!
 Now let every prig regard my floorless jig!
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 Well the bottle made me do it
 Now I'm famous like a saint
 When the man says "you will rue it."
 I say "I am the Great I ain't!"
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 If you've got a last request son
 Well you better speak up now
 I look boldly from the scaffold
 I said, "I need a bigger crowd!"
 "I need an audience all tense to see me swing!
 They can tell my ma how they saw my floorless jig!"
 Well hangin and a-wivin' were never in my plans!
 But bangin and a-knivin made for such a dual dance!
 Have you ever seen such a perfect pelvic dig?
 Well just take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!
 Well just take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!
 I said take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!