Schadenfreude

Right now you are down and out
 And feeling really crappy
 I'll say
 And when I see how sad you are
 It sort of makes me happy (happy?)
 Sorry Nicky, human nature
 Nothing I can do
 It's schadenfreude
 Making me feel glad that I'm not you
 Well, that's not very nice Gary
 I didn't say it was nice
 But everybody does it
 D'ya ever clap when a waitress falls
 And drops a tray of glasses (yeah)
 And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters
 Fallin' on their asses (sure)
 Don't ya feel all warm and cozy
 Watchin' people out in the rain
 That's schadenfreude
 People taking pleasure in yo' pain
 Schadenfreude? What's that, some kinda Nazi word
 Yup! It's German for 'Happiness at the misfortune of others'
 'Happiness at the misfortune of others'
 That is German
 Watching a vegetarian
 Being told she just ate chicken
 Or watching a frat boy realise
 Just what he put his dick in
 Being on an elevator when somebody shouts
 'Hold the door'
 No
 Schadenfreude
 Fuck you lady that's what stairs are for
 Ooh, how about
 Straight a student getting b's
 Exes getting STD's
 Waking doormen from their naps
 Watching tourists reading maps
 Football players getting tackled
 CEO's getting shackled
 Watching actors never reach
 The ending of their Oscar speech
 Schadenfreude
 Schadenfreude
 Schadenfreude
 Schadenfreude
 The world needs people like you and me
 Who've been knocked around by fate
 'Cause when people see us
 They don't wanna be us
 And that makes them feel great
 We provide a vital service to society
 You and me
 Schadenfreude
 Making the world a better place
 Making the world a better place
 Making the world a better place to be
 S C H A D E N F R E U D E