If You Could

if you could see him you'd understand why I
 reached out my arm and stuck it straight into the fire,
 the heat of the moment, all a-burn with desire,
 hypnotized by the flame, transfigured by the light
 if you could see him, you'd see him in the magazine
 caught between what was and what might have been
 on a cheap assignment, waiting to be seen,
 caught up in the hot flame chasing someone else's dream
 if you could see him you'd understand why I
 let him leave a mark on me and never once did try
 just let the phone ring another thousand times and
 when at last he answered it I never said goodbye.
 if you could see him you'd understand how
 something as simple as a smile can bring you down and
 open up desire til I worship the ground,
 just another semi-precious jewel in his crown
 one to the parade of girls he liked hanging around
 if you could see him, you'd already be drawn
 if you could see him, you might see yourself there
 among the baubles that crawled up on his shelf and
 kicked the God Almighty from the land of sad lost dreams,
 send you riding back to hell, set off walking on your knees
 if you could see him, you'd understand
 why I fell so hard I broke
 like a hammer breaks in the steelyard
 seeing all the goosebumps rising up into the air
 see yourself as just another victim
 caught up in the great nowhere
 if you could see him, you'd know why I cared,
 ran out of the house into the cold night air
 all burning with desire that had turned to despair
 tortured by the way I showed him just how much I cared
 if you could see him, you'd know he was the one who
 spent all of your insecurities and wore all your systems down
 filled your head with promises, had you running 'round
 in a world of insecurities which had long since ceased being any fun
 and this great wide world no, never will you find,
 you'd already be gone.