The Story of Lucy and Jessie

Here's a little story that should make you cry about two unhappy dames
 Let us call them Lucy X and Jessie Y, which are not their real names
 Now, Lucy has the purity, along with the unsurety that comes with being only twenty-one
 Jessie has maturity and plenty of security
 Whatever you can do with them, she's done
 Given their advantages, you may ask why the two ladies have such grief
 This is my belief in brief
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 Lucy is juicy, but terribly drab
 Jessie is dressy, but cold as a slab
 Lucy wants to be dressy
 Jessie wants to be juicy
 Lucy wants to be Jessie
 And Jessie, Lucy
 You see, Jessie is racy but hard as a rock
 Lucy is lacy but dull as a smock
 Jessie wants to be lacy
 Lucy wants to be Jessie
 That's the pitiful précis, it's very messy
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 Poor sad souls itching to be switching roles
 Lucy wants to do what Jessie does
 Jessie want to be what Lucy was
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 Lucy's a lassie, ya pat on the head
 Jessie is classy, but virtually dead
 Lucy wants to be classy
 Jessie wants to be lassie
 If Lucy and Jessie could only combine
 I could tell you someone who would finally feel just fine!
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 Now, if you see Lucy X
 Youthful, truthful Lucy X
 Let her know she's better than she suspects
 Now, if you see Jessie Y
 Faded, jaded Jessie Y
 Tell her that she's sweller than apple pie
 Juicy Lucy!
 Dressy Jessie!
 Tell 'em that they oughta get together quick
 'Cause getting it together is the whole trick, yeah!
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 (Yeah!)
 (Yeah!)
 Come on, boys!
 Let's go!
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 Yeah!