Tabula Rasa

A blank page to form and fill
 The abstract absurdity to get control of my dreams
 Shattered thoughts inflict with reality
 My mind sets off on a journey on its own into misery
 Anger, aggression out of control
 The mind living on its own
 Can never be saved
 Just condemned my-self to death
 Surrender my will, I'm about to explode
 How can I bear this horrible truth?
 Something I can't understand
 So many things I want you to know
 Enemies behind every face
 Every one wants to see me dead
 Spinning thoughts in an endless loop
 A ticking bomb waiting to explode
 So many things I can never undo
 A victim of my own dark sickness
 An outcome no one ever could forsee
 It was not me but a monster inside
 Paranoia desperation set free
 If you for a while could be me
 So that I clearly could see
 So many things I didn't know I was able to do
 Like the murder of you
 Can't repair what I caused
 A horror world swirls around
 An escape from disillusion
 Please hand me the solution
 No turning back, for once I'm clear in my head
 Can only end this by my own hand
 Is this how I can repay my deeds?
 This is what I can do at least
 The page I can not reset, my future lies after death