Growing To Hate

One step, two steps in a sidewalk square
 I measure them out as I walk everywhere
 Don't step on a crack, don't wander away
 Don't talk 'til the teacher has nothing left to say
 One step, two steps in a sidewalk square
 A demon of belittlement had followed me there
 I cried out, so desperate for someone to care
 But people will rape them if you lay your feelings bare
 don't step- don't speak-
 One step alone in each sidewalk section
 I learn painful lessons of love and rejection
 I hid my head when all the children said I'd failed their little tests
 I held a guilt trip for the moments
 I thought I knew what was best for me
 I thought I'd never be as good as them in their own eyes
 And I was right, absolutely right.
 Walking alone, don't know where my steps fall in the sections
 I'm pissed off and impervious to all forms of correction
 The people I depend on for an air of acceptance
 Have left me instead with the stench of their own arrogance
 My steps will no longer fit in the lines
 Self-doubt and self-hatred are all left behind
 Rudely ignoring now all the cracks in my way
 I'm glad I don't give a fuck what anybody else has to say
 My steps will no longer fit in the lines