You Are Allowed 20 Birthday Parties

I turned 37 this year, 37 years old, man
 That's not---no!
 Don't---that's not a fuckin' birthday, shame on you for applauding that
 That's not a birthday
 People be like, "what'd you do for your 37th birthday?"
 Nothing!
 That's not special!
 There's only about 20 birthdays you should be aloud to celebrate
 And the others, you're wasting cake and paper
 You're wasting cake---did you not see the Algore movie?
 We need to conserve cake and paper
 We are running out
 Here are the 20 you can celebrate
 These are the ones you get to have a party, k?
 1 through 9, you get a birthday
 'Cause, you're a little kid!
 A little kid gets a birthday