Those Were the Good Old Days

Whenever I'm, from time to time, depressed
 And the trauma wells and swells within my breast, I
 Find some pride deep inside of me
 As I fondly walk the lane of a memory, I see...
 Bonaparte, a mean one
 if ever I've seen one,
 and Nero fiddling through that lovely blaze
 Antoinette, dainty queen, with her quaint
 guillotine
 Yeahaha, those were the good old days
 I see Indians dragging
 an empty covered wagon
 when scalping the settlers was the latest craze
 And that glorious morn!
 Jack the Ripper was born
 Yeahaha, those were the good old days
 iI'd sit in my rocking chair,
 Peacefully rocking there
 Counting my blessings by the score
 The rack was in fashion
 The plagues were my passion
 Each day held a new joy in store
 Was anybody happy?
 I see cannibals munching
 A missionary luncheon
 The years may have flown
 But the memory stays
 Like the hopes that were dashed
 When the stock market crashed
 Yehaha, those were the good old days
 I'd walk a million miles more
 For some of the gore
 Of those good old days!