Colored Dreams / Killers Pt. 2

Yeah
 Mama I just killed a man,
 body is still tremblin' can you feel my hand?
 Don't shed no tears mama
 Look I said: Mama I just killed a man
 Body is still tremblin' can you feel my hands?
 Don't shed no tears mama
 Man convicted in the shooting death of the Milwaukee
 teenager will be behind walls until he's at least eighty years old
 Police said Demario Denelle Jackson shot into a crowd during a fight
 and killed a fourteen year old, As Jordan Cappen reports from court
 Yeah
 I guess I just gotta chill for twenty years
 'til the judge say it's okay to come out
 I need an escape and a way to run out
 People say that thy love you but you ain't breaking me out
 I'll probably die up in this motherfucker, shit
 I've accepted that and I am finding peace, uh
 Long nights I've been trying to sleep
 But I can't, so let me write you this apology
 This for your girl, look I'm sorry mama
 I put a bullet in 'em, I took your heart from you
 I killed your man and now you're forced to be apart from him
 You daughter walking who gon' catch her when she starts running?
 I was only nineteen doing foolish things for colors
 Your tears in the courtroom I can tell you loved him
 I thought I was being gangster when I took his life
 Now I can barely sleep during night
 I get it now fuck these colored dreams
 Shit
 I get it now fuck these colored dreams
 Fuck these colored dreams
 Fuck these colored dreams
 Shit
 I guess I just gotta chill for twenty years
 Shit, might as well apology to the rest
 And to my brother I claimed I love you more than the rest
 If I really loved you how come I did guide you to your death
 You was only twelve when I got locked up
 Pop shook, no role models for the block looks like the only option
 Should have made you put them Glocks down
 but instead I showed you how to get it popping
 And you took to it, nah you was never shook to it
 Even if trouble ain't were around you would look to it
 Throwing upset,
 you let them know you wasn't no
 bitch 'til you run into multiple cripps
 You let them niggas know you'll be down for your niggas
 Thinkin' in your head: Big bro' will be proud of a nigga
 I hate to have to be the way for you to go
 What's even worse I couldn't make it to your funeral
 Fuck them colored dreams
 Shit
 Fuck these colored dreams
 Fuck them colored dreams
 Look mama I know I killed that man
 Still remember trembling when you felt my hand
 Don't shed no tears mama, uh
 I know I won't be home for years mama
 I know you feel like a failure to all your peers mama
 You been a blessing to me
 I been a curse since birth to you
 Made shit worse for you
 They left me off the second I wouldn't even search for you, shit
 It only make it harder
 You care so much that you would kill for me
 I get your letters and I wonder how you still love me
 You say you pray every night and you still feel for me
 Shit and if you could I know you
 probably would do this bit for me, shit
 So what's it been the last time I speak to you
 I wan't you to know I love you with everything in me
 And since they ain't told me you share DNA with me
 We polar opposites I know I failed you
 mama wish I could be your accomplishment
 So as I stand on this chair writing this letter
 Noose around my neck the only way I do better if I leave you now
 'cause you been beaten down from them other things
 I ain't give you shit but other brings, I get it now
 Fuck these...