The Bear, The Tiger, The Hamster and The Mole

stop!
 All right! That's it!
 That's the one that does it
 i've had it with that song and dance
 a man must this and a woman must that
 till relationships don't stand a chance
 i'm sorry to shout
 but i'm up to here
 with all that crap about man and wife
 for i -thank god- am a scientist
 and i know the real facts of life
 like a soul possessed
 i have studies and assessed
 the creatures of this earth
 and from moose to eel
 what my studies most reveal
 is the male's inflated worth
 for in most of the animal kingdom
 the ladies only seldom need men
 their dealings are straight
 they meet them to mate
 and never see them again
 the bear, the tiger, the hamster and the mole
 have females who live fruitful lives outside of male control
 for one mindless spasm they allow the male his role
 that's marriage for the tiger, bear and hamster
 now the mole, who's blind
 will never be confined
 to one male she's merely felt
 once his seed is sown
 she has her babes along
 in the hole where the male mole dwelt
 and as for the boa constrictor
 she needs no more than one male response
 for when it appears
 she stores it for years
 to use whenever she wants
 the ray, the rhino, the penguin, and the tern
 those females know that motherhood is not a male concern
 of course they're not human, but they show what we can learn
 they point the way, the rhino, ray and penguin...
 In a field or brook
 almost anywhere you look
 are mothers on their own
 in the deep, on high
 mothers kiss their mates goodbye
 and they raise their young alone
 now i make no brief for the mantis
 who decapitates her mate during sex
 but i do like the auk
 who mates with a squawk
 and then throws rocks at her ex
 the bitch, the vixen, the queen bee, and the shrew
 what men have done to those fine words, we never can undo
 they're strong working mothers - yes they're just like me and you
 let's redefine the shrew, the bitch, and vixen...
 And be... like the seagull
 roam free... as the lynx
 and cruise... like the caribous... if we choose
 and not have to wait for those sly little winks
 from some man who envies the sex life of minks
 and not have to guess if he's one of the finks
 or whether he drinks
 or whether he stinks
 or what he thinks...
 Of me...
 Now of course if fate
 should put upon my plate
 that quintessential male
 i would stick like glue
 yes i would be as true
 as any beaver, owl, or whale
 but till then i'll envy the oyster
 who lives a happy life on the shelf
 when she wants a term
 she releases some sperm
 and fertilizes herself!
 The hare, the condor, the guppy, and the bream
 they're all out there doing what humans only dream
 come march toward the future on my scientific team
 for now that you've seen and can compare
 why, anyone with the will to dare
 can follow the tiger, and the bear,
 and hamster...
 And mole...
 And me!