The Brain

STUDENT #1:
 It's been said the your grandfather
 Brought dead tissue back to life,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 STUDENT #2:
 It's been said that your grandfather
 Created a horrifying monster,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 STUDENT #3:
 It's been said . . .
 (Spoken)
 . . . nay, even sung . . .
 (Sung)
 That your grandfather's monster
 Hurt and lamed, killed and maimed,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 Is that true,
 Is that true,
 Is that true,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 FREDERICK (spoken):
 That's Fronkensteen! My name, it's pronounced Fronkensteen! Yes, yes, the whole world knows what my grandfather did. But
 Please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?
 STUDENT #1:
 Well, Professor . . .
 Don't answer that!
 (Sung)
 I'm not a Frankenstein,
 I don't indulge in hijinks
 Or tomfoolery!
 I'm not a Frankenstein,
 I don't believe in mummies,
 Ghosts, or Ghoulery!
 I deal in fact not fiction,
 I am a scientist,
 I live for truth and reason,
 That's the reason I exist
 (Spoken)
 There is a vast difference between my crazy grandfather's delusional experiments and my own devotion to pure science. Which
 Leads us directly to the subject of today's lecture.
 (Sung)
 The brain!
 There is nothing like the brain
 Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys
 When stacked against the brain!
 Insane!
 I'm insane about the brain!
 No invention in the universe
 Is equal to the brain!
 The mouth's a marvel
 When it comes to eating,
 I've nothing against the womb,
 I thank the bladder
 When I'm excreting,
 And I always give the elbow room!
 But the brain!
 Please allow me to explain,
 There's no organ can compare to it,
 I swear to it, it's plain,
 It's the brain . . .
 (Spoken)
 Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked nor given any prior instruction to, has graciously offered his services for
 This afternoon's demonstration.
 (Sung)
 His medulla oblongata,
 Tells his brain stem that it's gotta
 Send an impulse full of data
 Which creates a lotta pain.
 His frontal lobe gets busy
 With a thought that makes him dizzy,
 Puts his cortex in a tizzy,
 So he never will complain,
 That's what I love about the brain!
 (Spoken)
 Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee, please. You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse. Mr. Hilltop, you
 May lower your knee. Reflex movements, on the other hand, are those which are made independently of the will. Why you dirty
 Rotten yellow son-of-a-bith!
 MR. HILLTOP:
 Ooooh!
 Even though I almost kneed him
 His reflexes have no freedomm
 To react when I mistreat him,
 It's important I explain
 Synaptic nerve connection
 Goes its way without detection
 Bringing cranial protection
 In a never-endinig chain!
 That's what I love about the brain!
 (Spoken)
 But what if we were to block those nerve impulses by simply aplying local pressure . . . . . . which can be done with any
 Ordinary metal clamp, just at the swelling of the posterior nerve root . . . for say, oh, four seconds . . . . . . Why you
 Mother-grabbing bastard! As you can see, even though I have just smashed my knee into his crotch, he does not react. He
 Feels absolutely nothing.
 MR. HILLTOP:
 Mmmm . . .
 More or less. So if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses from the brain, we would collapse . . . . . .
 Like a bunch . . . of . . . broccoli!
 MR. HILLTOP:
 Oooooh!
 FREDERICK (sung):
 And in conclusion,
 So there's no confusion,
 Let me say it once again,
 Though your genitalia
 Has been known to fail ya,
 You can bet your ass on the brain!
 (Spoken)
 Everybody!
 STUDENTS (sung):
 The brain!
 There is nothing like the brain!
 It's the king of our anaotomy
 And ever shall it reign!
 You can call me Copernicus,
 Kepler, or Newton,
 Compare me to Freud
 I'd feel high-falutin!
 Call me a Darwin,
 I love that man's theory,
 Call me Pasteur
 And watch me get teary!
 Say Madame Curie,
 That would be the best,
 Call me a Rorschach,
 I'm up to the test!
 I really light up
 When you call me Edison
 Call me an Erlich,
 I like that man's medicine
 Call me Marconi,
 That wireless wow
 Call me Pavlov,
 And I'll bark like a chow
 Call me an Einstein
 And that would be fine
 If you called me a Tesla
 I wouldn't decline
 But to call me a Frankenstein
 Would be insane,
 Cause I love the brain!
 His name is Fronkensteen
 The facts are plain
 There is nothing like the brain!
 
 STUDENT #1:
 It's been said the your grandfather
 Brought dead tissue back to life,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 STUDENT #2:
 It's been said that your grandfather
 Created a horrifying monster,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 STUDENT #3:
 It's been said . . .
 (Spoken)
 . . . nay, even sung . . .
 (Sung)
 That your grandfather's monster
 Hurt and lamed, killed and maimed,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 Is that true,
 Is that true,
 Is that true,
 Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
 FREDERICK (spoken):
 That's Fronkensteen! My name, it's pronounced Fronkensteen! Yes, yes, the whole world knows what my grandfather did. But
 Please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?
 STUDENT #1:
 Well, Professor . . .
 Don't answer that!
 (Sung)
 I'm not a Frankenstein,
 I don't indulge in hijinks
 Or tomfoolery!
 I'm not a Frankenstein,
 I don't believe in mummies,
 Ghosts, or Ghoulery!
 I deal in fact not fiction,
 I am a scientist,
 I live for truth and reason,
 That's the reason I exist
 (Spoken)
 There is a vast difference between my crazy grandfather's delusional experiments and my own devotion to pure science. Which
 Leads us directly to the subject of today's lecture.
 (Sung)
 The brain!
 There is nothing like the brain
 Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys
 When stacked against the brain!
 Insane!
 I'm insane about the brain!
 No invention in the universe
 Is equal to the brain!
 The mouth's a marvel
 When it comes to eating,
 I've nothing against the womb,
 I thank the bladder
 When I'm excreting,
 And I always give the elbow room!
 But the brain!
 Please allow me to explain,
 There's no organ can compare to it,
 I swear to it, it's plain,
 It's the brain . . .
 (Spoken)
 Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked nor given any prior instruction to, has graciously offered his services for
 This afternoon's demonstration.
 (Sung)
 His medulla oblongata,
 Tells his brain stem that it's gotta
 Send an impulse full of data
 Which creates a lotta pain.
 His frontal lobe gets busy
 With a thought that makes him dizzy,
 Puts his cortex in a tizzy,
 So he never will complain,
 That's what I love about the brain!
 (Spoken)
 Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee, please. You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse. Mr. Hilltop, you
 May lower your knee. Reflex movements, on the other hand, are those which are made independently of the will. Why you dirty
 Rotten yellow son-of-a-bith!
 MR. HILLTOP:
 Ooooh!
 Even though I almost kneed him
 His reflexes have no freedomm
 To react when I mistreat him,
 It's important I explain
 Synaptic nerve connection
 Goes its way without detection
 Bringing cranial protection
 In a never-endinig chain!
 That's what I love about the brain!
 (Spoken)
 But what if we were to block those nerve impulses by simply aplying local pressure . . . . . . which can be done with any
 Ordinary metal clamp, just at the swelling of the posterior nerve root . . . for say, oh, four seconds . . . . . . Why you
 Mother-grabbing bastard! As you can see, even though I have just smashed my knee into his crotch, he does not react. He
 Feels absolutely nothing.
 MR. HILLTOP:
 Mmmm . . .
 More or less. So if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses from the brain, we would collapse . . . . . .
 Like a bunch . . . of . . . broccoli!
 MR. HILLTOP:
 Oooooh!
 FREDERICK (sung):
 And in conclusion,
 So there's no confusion,
 Let me say it once again,
 Though your genitalia
 Has been known to fail ya,
 You can bet your ass on the brain!
 (Spoken)
 Everybody!
 STUDENTS (sung):
 The brain!
 There is nothing like the brain!
 It's the king of our anaotomy
 And ever shall it reign!
 You can call me Copernicus,
 Kepler, or Newton,
 Compare me to Freud
 I'd feel high-falutin!
 Call me a Darwin,
 I love that man's theory,
 Call me Pasteur
 And watch me get teary!
 Say Madame Curie,
 That would be the best,
 Call me a Rorschach,
 I'm up to the test!
 I really light up
 When you call me Edison
 Call me an Erlich,
 I like that man's medicine
 Call me Marconi,
 That wireless wow
 Call me Pavlov,
 And I'll bark like a chow
 Call me an Einstein
 And that would be fine
 If you called me a Tesla
 I wouldn't decline
 But to call me a Frankenstein
 Would be insane,
 Cause I love the brain!
 His name is Fronkensteen
 The facts are plain
 There is nothing like the brain!