Freedumb

I feel alone and depressed, I miss my best friend
 My wife's a thousand miles from home, the road I'm on's a dead end and
 So I lie to smoke choking, shove my fat grin with a bag
 Of preservatives, till I purge in a napkin, in the back of a van
 With no backup plan, just some lower back pain
 From holding up this avalanche
 If I had the chance to change, I probably wouldn't take it
 I preferred the benefits of learning how to communicate it
 I miss the Mrs. so much, I hold a picture of her
 To bridge the gap between her touch and my vision of us
 If it wasn't for your love, I couldn't trust the rush
 Of endorphins, so thanks for reminding me about what's important
 I'm one van nap away from coming, just a sliced throat
 From that path I take, I'm struggling to find home
 I'm on the right road leading me to nowhere
 And I don't know where I learned to juggling knife show
 But I hope it's embedded on my gravestone
 Brainstorm so much that my head is filled with rainbows
 There's no pot of gold, leprechauns and fables
 Just another hollow soul with death upon his facial
 I'm just a vagabond who never had a mum
 Who ever had a bond except when it was painful
 So I never stayed close, I stayed sharp with the crayons
 In my paws sketching all the angels
 My God - if I do not change the way I'm living I'ma
 Die young - but at least then you could say I did it like an
 Icon - left them all uplifted and constricted like a
 Python - sipping on elixirs just to fit in with the
 Life long friends who helped me paint a pretty picture so when
 I'm gone we can all pretend I made a difference within
 My songs ride on, ride on, ride on to that distant sunset
 Till the butterflies in stomachs learn to fly on
 Top of the puddle till I reach the light at the end of the tunnel
 I'm blind from, caught in a struggle
 I'm trying to fly with my head into trouble, my mind's numb
 I know I'm low, high hopes I focus my sights on
 Divulge my soul, I'm so hopeless in my thoughts
 Before sky high beanstalks
 Tied tongue sing low while I sweet talk
 We walked a thin line between self destruct and detox
 Cos these scars are deep enough to rob us of our freedom