Haunt Me

Look, I won't pretend I understand it babe, the afterlife and all
 But as you died you promised me that you would try to write or call
 And I've been waiting ever since
 Every Sunday I hold séances with like-minded adults
 And roll your corpse into the living room
 And try and find your pulse and then repine at the results
 I've even got my windowsills lined up with ultraviolet bulbs
 Shrunken shrines of human skulls and other signs of the occult
 But now I'm at a fucking loss, 'cause honey, nothing seems to work
 Like I've been astrally projecting my body beyond my dreams
 Through the fabric of space and time
 So you could me spot me at the seams
 I ventured through the upside-down, hoping you caught me in between
 But maybe if you've got the tech
 Then you could haunt me on my screens
 Like you should infiltrate my news feed
 I swear no one would notice
 You could float beside some bogus BuzzFeed quiz about the POTUS
 Be a pixelated phantom-ghost
 On clickbait propaganda posts
 And dictate what you're thinking through a catchy headline
 Like "One weird reason why it's great to be ethereal"
 Or "Twenty signs you're dead now and your soul is immaterial"
 Or if it's late at night then you could swoop in from the Shadow Realm
 And talk to me through pop-up ads that show up over adult films
 On anything you're into, we could start with milf or facial
 You could beam your interspatial spirit into interracial
 If you're feeling sorta formal, we could pizza date on Skype
 And I could call the coroner over n' we could share the corner slice
 When it's time to go to bed, then we could leave our cameras on
 And if the netherworld has one day shipping free on Amazon
 Then you could slumber as you ship yourself
 I swear this shit delivers quick
 Or send me the address and I could meet you by the River Styx
 I'd Twitter beef with Namtar by the Tigris and Euphrates
 I could snap you while I'm snagging sacred threads of life from Hades
 I would loot Duat and photocopy-pirate the papyrus
 Change the records and then have a Facebook flamewar with Osiris
 And either way, I can't wait to talk or reunite
 I've been so lonely since you died
 I've tried to walk towards the light
 And if the gods of death oppose our harmless want to reconvene
 Then maybe we could sneak you by 'em if you haunt me through a screen
 It's been far too long that you and I have been alone
 You could rectify that if you haunt me through my phone
 No, I don't want to deal with Voodoo dolls and figurines
 I could do without them if you'd haunt me through my screen
 I'm just frustrated I guess
 I've hung out in countless graveyards, drawn pentagrams
 And slaughtered goats, and even took a course on hunting
 Ghosts from Pentecostal folks but never once have gotten close
 Last month I sat with local psychics and their crystal jewels
 And tried to find my old T-Mobile Sidekick phone from middle school
 Just so maybe if you're bored of fortune-telling tarot cards and
 Magic words then you could tweet a hundred-forty characters so
 I could throw away my Voodoo dolls and stop chanting my Juju mantras
 That my guru taught us and if you slide into some YouTube comments
 You could scroll the comment page or you could leave it blank
 If your specter is perceptible we'd tell 'em it's a prank
 And if you still don't send responses, I'd assume the problem's technical
 And I would call Verizon just so someone could inspect it all
 I'd tell him I just want a close encounter of the spectral kind
 He'd ask if I turned on our modem-router for a second time
 And plugged it in correctly to the voltage-power-socket-line
 And tried to tear a portal hole through to your paranormal soul
 So me and you could catch up on a toll-free spirit-mortal call
 Or we could see a witch doctor, she'd prolly be skeptical
 Clinician with a stethoscope, the specimen non-skeletal
 The symptoms metaphysical, the convalescent soulless
 At first her diagnosis could be: we should try hypnosis
 But truthfully, if you can choose that way you're reborn
 I hope you use the 3G phone and you eschew the Ouija board
 And at this point, I don't really know why I learned ESP for
 When you could just descend and settle in my USB port
 Or my Nvidia GeForce or my video AV cord
 There's no need for Santa Muerte, when I've got a QWERTY keyboard
 We could play a game of e-sports, you and I'd be on a team
 And if you're feeling otiose, I'll put my audio on stream
 I'll still have your favorite games babe, I've got 'em all on Steam
 We'll get started when you're ready
 Once you haunt me through a screen
 It's been far too long that you and I have been alone
 You could rectify that if you haunt me through my phone
 No, I don't want to deal with Voodoo dolls and figurines
 I could do without them if you'd haunt me through my screen