The Art of Anesthesia

Sometimes I think about who I should believe
 The people who are dead or the people who are free
 Sometimes I hear them as they whisper to me
 I try to stay awake, so I won't die in my sleep
 And I was quick to take a second look through
 The window on the door of the operating room
 And the adrenaline, it threw my eyes
 To the table on the floor where the patients lie
 I saw his face, I could not speak
 As the anesthetic kissed his cheek
 I felt my lips go cold and my limbs go weak
 Because the body on the table where the patients die was me
 It was me
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 Give me back my oxygen mask
 'Cause I don't want to feel the walls of my heart collapse
 So put me under
 I would sooner die on this table
 Than face what causes me to be so unstable
 There was a lie between my demons and me
 And a body made of paper in the passenger seat
 As I opened my eyes, I could not see
 I felt the stitches come loose and the blood run free
 And as my thoughts began to shake
 I felt the hand of the darkness kiss my face
 And then the devil woke up, and he grabbed my throat
 He pulled me down to the place where the silence grows
 He looked at me with hollow eyes
 And he whispered my name as the flowers died
 I felt my heart go cold as I sank between the ocean I am and the river I meant to be
 I meant to be
 Give me back my oxygen mask
 'Cause I don't want to feel the walls of my heart collapse
 So put me under
 I would sooner die on this table
 Than face what causes me to be so unstable
 Now I'm standing by the window on a Sunday
 And I can't quite recall
 Why I cannot move at all, all, all
 And I feel so tired and wounded
 Like the stitches on my soul came apart
 I'm standing here in the dark
 Maybe it's from the drinks we had last night
 But good God, I love those friends of mine
 The best that alcohol can buy
 Or maybe it's from the lack of sleep
 Or all the secrets I've kept tryna be so sweet to you
 It's dark, my dear, but it got me through, it got me through
 Give me back my oxygen mask
 'Cause I don't want to feel the walls of my heart collapse
 So put me under
 I would sooner die on this table
 Than face what causes me to be so unstable
 Causes me to be so unstable
 Causes me to be so unstable
 Sometimes I wonder if I'm only a ghost
 Wearing human skin, I never chose
 I listened to the devil as he spoke
 Because he tempted me with a beautiful rose