Broke

I'm broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 This old fella come round to my crumbling abode
 The band used to rehearse, in his garage
 I know he's always suffered with
 Some very serious mental health problems
 But to me, he's always been a kind and decent fella
 He knew I was having a rough time
 So on this day, he brought around two bottles of gin
 Four bottles of wine, some Fray Bentos pies
 Six tins of cheap Irish stew
 A packet of Ginger Nuts, and a loaf of shit bread
 I was grateful 'cause I was hungry, and I was thirsty
 I was always thirsty
 Then he sat down on the sofa and told me he was thinking about murdering his mum
 That was a bit awkward, so I had a sip of gin
 Smiled at him
 I was broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 I was broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 It was just before Christmas when I
 Was sacked from the pub I worked in
 They'd always warned me that I was more drunk than the customers
 I considered that a perk of the job
 'Parently not
 Two days later I went for an audition
 In a department store to be Father Christmas
 They said I was too thin, and too young
 Fucking bastards
 Then I got picked at the post for a job delivering tofu by bicycle
 The girl who got the job could speak Chinese
 Which the owner liked
 I had a girlfriend at the time
 I called her up and told her of my financial predicament
 And she sighed the longest sigh that I have ever heard
 It went like this:
 Then she said: "Oh for fuck's sake Scott
 I can't deal with this right now;
 I'm just going out for lunch with Roland from marketing"
 "Who the fuck is Roland from marketing?" I thought, as I put the phone down
 I had the right hump after that,
 So I phoned a couple of pals to see if they could lend me fifty quid
 So I could go and get completely, arseholed
 I was broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 I was broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 That Christmas turned out alright, though
 'Cause an old mate of mine from Essex phoned me up
 Said he needed a hand chopping down bushes
 So we could sell 'em as bonsai trees on Basildon Market
 We made a small fortune, though it did feel a bit snidey
 Selling them to the nice old ladies
 Oh well, much better that
 Than being broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 Broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic
 That girl dumped me in the end
 Fuck her
 I don't know if Chris ever murdered his mum
 Maybe one day I'll read about it in the paper
 Thing is
 I don't read papers!
 Even if he does kill her
 It probably won't end up in the papers
 'Cause there's so many fucking arseholes in this world
 Murdering their mums
 It ain't even news anymore
 Not me though
 I have never once thought about murdering my mum
 She's fucking lovely!
 As well as that every time I see her
 She always bungs me a few quid
 Hopefully one day I'll be able to do the same to my little girl
 I fucking doubt it though!
 'Cause I'm always
 Broke
 Skint
 Strapped
 Brassic