The Waitress Song

Hi, how're you doing?
 Just a, ah... big breakfast and a large black coffee, thanks
 Cheers
 I love you
 And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon
 The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew
 And the toast is always soggy
 But I hardly notice
 And the food takes such a long time to get made
 Even when I'm the only person in the café
 And my table's always wobbly
 But I hardly notice
 You're probably thinking, why would I even bother eating there
 On a daily basis? There's heaps of other places on offer
 I won't change to another place if the bacon is rubber
 And the taste of the cuppa makes you pull faces and splutter
 It's the waitress, I love her, the way she clears plates with a clutter
 Makes my heart race and it flutters, I know it's crazy to love a
 Lady that's basically just a stranger with an apron down her
 Brother, I don't need to ask her name and number
 'Cause this relationship is built on breakfast
 I'm waiting on her just to wait on me
 And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon
 The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew
 And the toast is always soggy
 But I hardly notice
 And the food takes such a long time to get made
 Even when I'm the only person in the café
 And my table's always wobbly
 But I hardly notice
 She says "Hi" to me, "Bye" to me, "That'll be five-ninety-five" to me
 I don't really mind, that's all right with me
 I just smile and eat, sometimes we mightn't speak for like a week
 She knows during my quiet times I like to be alone
 And write a poem with my headphones
 Newspaper, bacon fried up, poached egg, slice of toast
 A long black, but the beans are always burnt
 And if the cup is dirty, she just cleans it with her shirt
 I wonder if she's my ideal girl
 And what would happen if we dated in the real world
 Nah, I don't think it would work
 I wouldn't wanna risk what we have and have to tip 'cause of that
 Besides, this relationship is built on breakfast
 I'm waiting on her just to wait on me
 And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon
 The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew
 And the toast is always soggy
 But I hardly notice
 And the food takes such a long time to get made
 Even when I'm the only person in the café
 And my table's always wobbly
 But I hardly notice
 And it don't matter that the bacon I eat's cold
 And it's okay the newspapers are weeks old
 But I don't mind, no, it's fine 'cause she's all
 That I'm there for
 And it don't matter that the bacon I eat's cold
 And it's okay the newspapers are weeks old
 But I don't mind, no, it's fine 'cause she's all
 That I'm there for
 And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon
 The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew
 And the toast is always soggy
 But I hardly notice
 And the food takes such a long time to get made
 Even when I'm the only person in the café
 And my table's always wobbly
 But I hardly notice