Let Me Go

You bang on my door Like a knock-knock joke that I'm scared to hear the punch line to,
 Because the who somehow always turns out to be you
 And it's always nothing new.
 We've been through the same Sing-a-long song and lap dance before.
 It's like you tore a page out of the playbook
 And you've been trying to re-invent the airplane,
 Folding over and over, using the same piece
 Until there's a crease running in every direction
 And that shit won't fly.
 And it's okay,
 'Cause I feel grounded these days.
 Less like a bullet that strays into a crowd looking for a home.
 Passing through bone as if it was another big city stop
 On a vacation planned with a sightseeing book.
 You see, I took class on listening
 So I could hear something positive
 And then live happily with the mindset
 That will get me altitude when needed.
 I've got a confidence so deep seeded
 It's growing in reverse.
 And I rehearse handshakes with titans
 Because even giants need someone to look up to.
 Open fire,
 There's wounds to be licked
 Near the eyes,
 You inherited.
 In the bar
 People wait for their numbers to come.
 One by one, they arrive,
 And so will I.
 I forget that I don't live here anymore,
 It's not my scene.
 I'll wait, to be amazed
 By a voice not expecting.
 Open fire like a car crash.
 Open fire and the names and the faces.
 Open fire and as you fall back.
 Open fire in the city.
 And if we agree to disagree
 The we never to the time it takes
 To analyze the mistakes we made.
 We stay at a stalemate Where the rate of progress
 Is equal to a snails pace
 In a rat race where people chase fairy-tales.
 Hoping all the happy endings Get married to the tragic beginnings,
 And all the ever-afters last forever.
 And I'm the first to admit,
 I sure wish there was a Never Land,
 Where time never takes us by the hand
 And forces us to grow old.
 I wish that every lie told would make our noses grow,
 That way we'd know who the politicians should be.
 Let me go,
 So I don't cut your heel Trying to fit your foot into a glass slipper I already smashed against the sidewalk.
 Let me wander through the flock And show that wolves have got teeth too,
 And the they have bitten through my tongue
 Every time I have had to hold it.
 And I have had to hold it, I have held it.
 And I've got the words,
 I've got the words so sharp
 They'd have to drive you to the hospital just to stop the bleeding. I'm tired of you needing us to be friends,
 Let me go, so I don't slip and say something like,
 They only person who lets me down more than God,
 Is you.
 See, I didn't mean to,
 But somewhere along the way I grew a mouth like a cannon,
 So the next time you ran in and out of my secret lives
 I'd have some knives of my own I could throw.
 And I know my aim is getting better
 Because now I can say your name in a prayer. It's right there, next to the Hallelujah
 And the goodbye.
 Looked for radio
 A voice built by sin.
 Indulgence,
 the finer things.
 Know the room,
 With letters that you
 Never sent.
 Never meant to.
 Who's it sent too?
 Every train that you can catch
 Will arrive,
 Every hour,
 Every day.
 And every phone call, Every response
 Is expected.
 Open fire like a car crash.
 Open fire, all the names and the faces.
 Open fire, and as you fall back.
 Open fire, the city lights.
 I tried to fit and fill a Cathedral
 Where the needful kneel and feel nothing now.
 I somehow believe you less and less.
 And I guess I trust you about as much as I should, Which could be another way to say I wonder if I ever did. I wonder who's hiding behind each eyelid When you had to close your eyes just to touch me.
 I wonder where I'd be if I hadn't let you use my own physicality
 To weaken my arms and legs against escape. I wonder what you did with that cape that I use to keep
 Hanging in my closet.
 Let me go,
 Like an atheist caught in an undertow
 Hoping to nothing that maybe he was wrong.
 Let me belong to myself again,
 Then stand back to back with a mountain and ask
 Am I taller yet?
 'Cause I kinda got my heart set on being huge.
 And I figure, maybe with a bigger heart I can love strangers a little more.
 Laughter can be my encore at every smile.
 And I could pile pyramids against hurricanes
 And I'd have hands like cranes
 And lift the heavy burden of loneliness
 From the shoulders of the rejected
 Because the world needs a friend.
 And maybe I could bend minds around the concept that Depression is dangerous And we can't afford to have 9-1-1 dismiss unhappiness
 As if it wasn't a goddamn emergency.
 And we should be sending out hugs like they were blood, food and rescue teams.
 And we should be holding the hands of the comfortless,
 Teaching them to walk balance beams,
 And yet it
 seems more likely
 That you would keep me in a constant state of unhappy,
 Which lends a truth to the theory about misery and company.
 Let me go, I've got shit to do.
 I've got to get a shiny new friend That I can prop up beside me and say "See? I'm alright."
 I've got a fight scheduled by the bike racks
 For the week after next.
 But I've got to put it in context,
 So that when they write a story on my back in blue and black ink You won't think it's about you,
 'Cause a story's only true if you live it.
 The minute you give it a personal touch It becomes something that the facts were based on
 And we could argue endlessly over wrong and right,
 But day and night occupy both space between dusk and dawn.
 So, let me go,
 Because the truth is,
 I'm gone.